


it’s okay, i’m still here

by KingofQuills



Category: Amphibia (Cartoon)
Genre: Anne is suicidal, Character Death, Crying, Dark, F/F, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Sad, Sad Ending, Spoiler Alert - Freeform, but Anne does have romantic feelings for Marcy in this universe, but it’s not really mentioned in this fic so, i guess, it’s up to you, their relationship CAN be read as platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29103525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingofQuills/pseuds/KingofQuills
Summary: I promise I’ll be back before you even start to miss me.” She said into her shoulder.“Too late.” Anne mumbled as she pulled away.“Besides,” the ranger cuffed her gently on the shoulder. “I’ve been doing this for the past couple of nights and you didn’t really have a problem with it then. What’s with the fuss all of the sudden?”“I don’t know, I just - I kinda have a bad feeling about tonight.” She said as she fiddled with her hands.Marcy rolled her eyes playfully. “Anne…”In true Anne fashion, she threw her head back ever so dramatically“I know, I know - just go already.” She groaned. “Before I change my mind.”Marcy was already at the bedroom door, she turned back and gave her friend a small smile.“I’ll be back, try not to cause any trouble without me okay?”“No promises.”And with that, she was gone.That was almost two hours ago.
Relationships: Anne Boonchuy/Marcy Wu
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	it’s okay, i’m still here

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Death, blood, gore (kinda), brief but graphic mention of suicide
> 
> Yeah, this is kinda heavy, but then again, I’m the best at angst so…. take that with a grain of salt :/

_ Anne…” Marcy groaned, practically shoving the taller girl off of her. “You know I have to do this.”  _

_ “But do you really?” Anne protested. She leaned her head on Marcy’s shoulder, making sure to be extra dramatic.  _

_ She could practically feel Marcy’s smile as the girl gently pushed her away again.  _

_ “Yes, I do. As Chief Ranger of the Newtopian Knight Guard it’s my duty to make sure the city remains a safe place.” _

_ Ever since the whole barbari-ant situation, Marcy was required to scout around the outside of Newtopia’s walls for any “potential threats”, as the king put it.  _

_ Marcy could handle herself, she proved that the day Anne arrived with the Plantars. But that didn’t stop her from worrying. Yeah, Marcy’s grown since she arrived in Amphibia, she wasn’t the same clumsy, oblivious girl she was back home - she didn’t need her friends to protect her anymore.  _

_ Maybe it was all those years of being her protector back home, or maybe it was the fact that it didn’t matter how strong, smart, or skilled you are - Amphibia can be extremely dangerous - Anne was still having reservations about letting her best friend of eight years scout the borders of a city, alone, for anything dangersome.  _

_ It didn’t matter who you were - you needed to be extremely vigilant at all times here in Amphibia. One wrong move in the wrong situation could be the end of you. You could turn your back for one second, and some creature could snatch you up in the blink of an eye. _

_ The thought of Marcy letting her guard down during one of these patrols, only to have something creep up on her and….. _

_ And….. _

_ She couldn’t even finish that thought.  _

  
  


_ Anne pouted as she plopped down on Marcy’s bed, arms crossed firmly across her chest - she wasn’t going down without a fight. _

_ Marcy shook her head. “Oh no, you don’t get to charm me with your adorable brattyness and convince me to stay, no sir!” She crossed her arms. “This is something I  _ **_have_ ** _ to do, it’s my-“ _

_ “-duty as Chief Ranger of the Newtopian knight guard - yeah, yeah, I know.” Anne sighed and shifted her gaze to the floor. _

_ “It’s just…” She pondered what to say next.  _

_ “I know you can handle yourself, and you don’t need me to protect you anymore. But it’s just - Amphibia’s so….” She pursed her lips, unsure of how to word what she wanted to say. _

_ Marcy’s gaze softened. “Oh Anne,” she reached out and rested a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I know Amphibia’s dangerous, I’ve been here for just as long as you, I’ve learned that by now.” _

_ She knelt down in front of her so that they were eye level. Anne kept her gaze on the floor. _

_ “I know  _ **_you_ ** _ know I don’t need you to watch over me all the time anymore. I’m a big girl now, I can handle myself and you know that.” _

_ The girl in front of her bit her lip. _

_ She continued. “But I also realize that after years of looking out for me, protecting me whenever you think I’m in danger feels natural - and you can’t just turn that off.”  _

_ Anne looked up at her. _

_ “But I think you  _ **_need_ ** _ to realize that sometimes you’re gonna need to put your feelings about the situation on the back burner and let me do what I need to do.” _

_ There was silence for a few agonizing seconds.  _

_ She sighed.  _

_ “Just…. make it quick, okay?” _

_ Marcy let out a small squeal of excitement and jumped up, grabbing Anne’s hand and pulling her up into a hug. _

_ “I promise I’ll be back before you even start to miss me.” She said into her shoulder. _

_ “Too late.” Anne mumbled as she pulled away. _

_ “Besides,” the ranger cuffed her gently on the shoulder. “I’ve been doing this for the past couple of nights and you didn’t really have a problem with it then. What’s with the fuss all of the sudden?” _

_ “I don’t know, I just - I kinda have a bad feeling about tonight.” She said as she fiddled with her hands. _

_ Marcy rolled her eyes playfully. “Anne…” _

_ In true Anne fashion, she threw her head back ever so dramatically  _

_ “I know, I know - just go already.” She groaned. “Before I change my mind.” _

_ Marcy was already at the bedroom door, she turned back and gave her friend a small smile.  _

_ “I’ll be back, try not to cause any trouble without me okay?” _

_ “No promises.” _

_ She chuckled while shaking her head.  _

_ And with that, she was gone. _

  
  
  


That was almost two hours ago.

  
  
  


*

  
  


Anne shivered. She was beginning to regret not bringing some sort of overcoat. It was starting to get colder at night.

Nearly two hours ago, Marcy had gone to do a routine ‘border check’, she called it, and hadn’t returned.

This wasn’t unusual, these border checks usually took about three hours to complete, plus it sometimes took her a little while to get back to the castle.

But for some reason, Anne had a really bad feeling about tonight. One she could no longer ignore. 

At first she could distract herself with her phone, but as time passed the feeling only intensified. It went from a small nipping sensation, to deep gnawing at the pit of her stomach, clawing at the walls like it was trying to break free. At that point, Anne couldn’t ignore it - she  _ had  _ to find Marcy.

So she did what any other dumb teenage girl would do - sneak out to find her friend who was  _ probably  _ fine. 

Weaseling her way around a castle full of guards and other high-ranking government officials wasn’t easy, but luckily for Anne, she had almost a year of sneaking out of a house inhabited by strict, Thai parents under her belt.

After she'd managed to find her way out of the palace, she headed straight for Newtopia’s walls.

If she was being honest with herself, Anne was probably overreacting. Marcy was probably fine - hell, when she found her, Marcy would probably scold her for sneaking out to find her, saying things about how she could handle herself, how Anne could’ve gotten hurt cause Newtopia is dangerous at night.

Because Marcy’s like that, she would put Anne’s safety above her own without a second thought. 

Although she had only been in Newtopia for a few days, she’d gotten a little familiar with the city, did she know  _ exactly  _ where she was going? No - but she had a pretty good idea. Besides, it’s not like she was looking for a specific place. All she really had to do was go straight and she would eventually run into the city’s outer walls. 

Newtopia was a busy city, no matter what time of day or night, there were usually all sorts of Amphibi-folk meandering around, so when she came to find the city was unusually quiet, that made her feel a hundred times worse.

Anne started running. Something was wrong, Newtopia was  _ never  _ this quiet. 

Soon enough she was greeted by the outer walls of the city. They towered over her, they seemed much bigger than ever before - more menacing too.

She hadn’t thought about how she was going to get around them, they were far too big for her to climb.

Her only hope of getting out were the doors - and they were no nowhere in sight. 

Anne breathed a shaky sigh, realizing she’d have to follow the wall ‘til she found them.

Now, Anne Boonchoy was not particularly religious, but when she found those doors after only about a minute of walking, she  _ had  _ to thank whoever was up there.

She  _ prayed  _ that Marcy left the doors unlocked. Why wouldn’t she have? They locked from the inside, and Marcy didn’t have a key, (at least not one that she knew about) she would’ve had to,  _ right? _

Anne considered going to church when the doors opened with ease, they may have been huge, but they were apparently made to be citizen-friendly.

The doors opened with a creak - one that was agonizing against the silence of the night.

She hurried outside. Something about the water didn’t feel right, it wasn’t cold, per say - it was just… off.

“Marcy…” She hadn’t intended for her voice to crack, but it did.

  
  
  
  


She’d taken but a couple steps when she noticed it.

  
  


At first she didn’t recognize it. 

It layed about twenty feet to her right, by now it had gotten pretty dark out, so she had to squint in Order to get somewhat of a good look at it.

The first thing she noticed was the water surrounding it. It was dark and murky,  _ it was blood. _

In that same minute, Anne noticed the cloak it wore.

It hit her like a speeding freight train.

Before she could even think, she was running.

“MARCY!”

Anne kneeled next to her, flipping the smaller girl on her back. She let out a gasp as she got a good look at her best friend of nearly ten years.

Marcy was paler than a ghost, she looked like one, too - like she’d had all her life force drained.

Blood coated her uniform and half her face, the water hadn’t done much to wash it away. It clung to her skin and uniform like moss on a tree.

A deep gash ran diagonally from her chest to her stomach, giving way to a sea of red gushing from it.

She couldn’t tell how deep it was.

Just then, Anne noticed the gentle rise and fall of her chest.

_ She was still alive, there was still time. _

“Marcy..” her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, as if Marcy was a fragile object that would shatter if she were too loud. “Marcy, can you hear me?”

Her eyes fluttered open.

Anne’s hand shook as she placed it ever so delicately on Marcy’s cheek. She was warm,  _ she was alive. _

“A-Anne…”

“Marcy, you’re gonna be okay.” Was all Anne managed to choke out before the tears started to fall, and she was cut off by a sob.

“I’m gonna get you help, okay? You're gonna be okay.” 

Marcy gave her a small smile, one that clawed violently at her heart.

“Oh Anne.” Marcy’s voice was meek and soft as if it took everything out of her just to say a few words. 

“It’s okay… I’m still here…”

“Yes, yes!” Anne nodded vigorously, wiping at her face with one hand, the other still placed on Marcy’s cheek. “You gonna be just fine, Mar-Mar. I promise.”

“I’ll always be…” Marcy lifted her hand, it shook wildly as she placed it on her friend’s cheek. “...you’re best friend…”

For a moment, the two stared at each other, hands gently cupping each other’s cheeks, in silence. A silence that was absolute agony for Anne, but bliss for Marcy.

Marcy spoke again.

“It’s alright.” Was all she managed to get out before breaking out into a coughing fit. Blood sputtering from her mouth with each cough. 

“I’ll always be…. your best friend.” She heaved once she was able to speak again.

“M-Marbles… you-you’re g-gonna…” Anne stuttered she had a sinking feeling she knew what was happening, but she couldn’t, Marcy couldn’t…

_ Marcy was going to be okay, she  _ **_had_ ** _ to. _

“Never let you go…. I was here for it all…”

“Wha? Marcy, what are you-” 

Marcy smiled at Anne once more. She ran her thumb against her cheek.

“...And I’m here for you now.”

And with that, Marcy’s eyes fluttered shut and her hand went limp, falling on Anne’s shoulder.

“Marcy! Marcy!” Anne shook her, panic rising in her chest. Marcy couldn’t be…

There was no response, save for the girls head falling limply to the side.

_ She’s…dead. _

“No…” Anne stared helplessly at her friend’s body. Her face still held the faintest hint of a smile, but there was no life left in her. She was gone. Her body was still there, but Marcy herself was gone. She’d moved on from this life to something else - whatever it is that comes after death.

“No, No, NO, NO!” Anne screamed. “MARCY, NO! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME!”

It felt like everything inside her was being torn apart, her heart, stomach, intestines, and mind were all being clawed to shreds.

“I NEED YOU, I  **_NEED_ ** YOU, YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!” Anne sobbed with helpless desperation. Her vision blurred with tears, she began to feel lightheaded. 

She screamed Marcy’s name over and over, shaking and even slapping her - desperate to get something, **_anything_** out of the girl. Something that would let Anne know she wasn’t alone. That someone was still here.

Eventually her voice wore out, and she could no longer scream for her dead best friend.

“Please…” her voice was weak and quiet as she still cried for her best friend. “please, marcy. i need you, i love you.”

She leaned forward and rested her head on Marcy’s shoulder as she cried, it was the only thing she could do to feel close to Marcy, who was now more far away than ever.

It briefly crossed Anne’s mind that she probably woke up all of Newtopia with her screaming, but she didn’t care. Let them all know that Chief Ranger of the Newtopian Knight Guard Marcy Wu was dead.

Marcy Wu, one of Anne’s best friends - someone whom she’d known since kindergarten, someone who she walked to school with every day, someone who she saw nearly every day, someone who’s rants about her latest favorite video game she listened for hours to, someone who would watch all her favorite movis and shows with her - despite having zero interest in, someone who she always texted late at night when she needed someone to talk to, someone who she could turn to when she had no one else, someone who would always be there for her no matter what, someone who knew practically everything about her, someone who had essentially become a part of her was gone.

And a part of Anne went with her.

There’d be no more walks to school together, no more watching her favorite movies together, no more calling her in the middle of the night crying when her own thoughts started to scare her, Marcy was no longer there for any of that.

Marcy was far away now, somewhere where Anne would never see her again. Hopefully she was happy there.

If Anne were granted a single wish, it would be that Marcy would never feel any pain ever again - whether she was in heaven, hell, purgatory, or starting a new life, never to think about Anne, Sasha, Amphibia, home, or her family ever again.

Anne briefly considered wishing for Marcy to remember her, but that might cause her to feel pain, all Anne wanted was for her to be at peace - and if that meant she’d never cross her mind again, so be it.

How was Anne going to survive without her? Yeah, she had the plantars, and her family back home, maybe even Sasha; but in the dead of night, when she started to ponder grabbing the nearest sharp object and slashing her wrist to bloody pieces, and how her family would react to seeing their daughter’s corpse after she had mutilated herself - there was only one person whom the mere sound of her voice could calm her fucked up mind.

_ And she was gone. _

Anne lifted her head from Marcy’s shoulder, and wiped her eyes. Despite feeling like they’d been glued permanently shut by her tears, she managed to pry them open. 

She looked down at Marcy, making sure to savor the last time she’d ever see her face.

**Author's Note:**

> “Hey Kenny! Quick question, 𝓌ₕₐₜ ₜₕₑ 𝒻ᵤ𝒸ₖ 𝓌ₐₛ ₜₕₐₜ?” I don’t know, man, I was just feeling angsty. 
> 
> I’ve actually had the idea for this in my head for months now, but I didn’t get around to actually writing ‘til now - well actually, it’d be more accurate to say I didn’t get around to writing this until a week or two ago. Cause yeah, this took me so fucking long to finish, but oh well, I’d rather post less frequently, and spend more time on my fics if that means they’ll be better quality.
> 
> This is my first time writing something pretty angsty, and I think I did okay - I don’t know, you tell me. (I do be lovin’ it when people comment tho *wink wink, nudge nudge.*)
> 
> Also, it’s important to note that I don’t have a beta reader, and I proofread my own fics. But here’s the thing; I’m not remotely good at catching my own mistakes in my writing, soooo, yeah. Please think about that before making a comment on any spelling mistakes/grammatical errors. (Plus it’s like, 2 am and I’m tired.)
> 
> This is another songfic. It’s based on a song from the mlp fandom, and honestly; if you know, you know. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.
> 
> "Marcy repeats herself, at one point." Yeah, that was intentional. I was trying to show how "out of touch" she was, so to say. But after reading over it again I'm kinda worried it doesn't come across the way I want it to :/
> 
> I have no idea what else to say other than I really wanna write more suicidal Anne, cause i HaVe FuCkInG iSsUeS, mEgaN.
> 
> Anyways, it’s currently 2 am where I’m at, I’m gonna go to bed. Take care, y’all.


End file.
